5 Financial Habits of Happy Couples

It’s probably no surprise that the number one cause of stress for any marriage is money. To prevent unneeded financial stress, you and your partner must focus on practical ways to manage your family finances. Luckily, we’ve outlined 5 simple money habits that can lead couples towards a harmonious financial partnership. 

1. Talk About Money Often

Communication is the key to any successful relationship. Some people have no problem talking about money, while others can feel too many emotions about money, making it hard to open up about their finances. Couples who have ongoing conversations about money have the opportunity to learn about each other’s money habits, financial motivators and insecurities, and future financial goals. It’s essential to learn why you and your partner spend, save, or invest money the way you do so you can put your efforts towards a shared vision of financial success. 

2. Appoint a Family CFO (Chief Financial Officer)

Our lives as couples are complicated, and in most cases, we structure our home life around one person taking ownership of specific tasks. Many financially happy couples delegate the daily financial tasks to one person while both focus on the big picture goals and decisions together. It makes sense to have only one person focus on paying the bills, managing the budget, and allocating funds towards various savings goals. The most crucial point is that the Family CFO communicates openly and regularly about money, so the other person doesn’t feel like “the out-spouse.” Both parties must participate in financial decision-making and work together to achieve their financial goals. 

3. Schedule Money Dates

Are you unsure of how or when to find time to chat about money? One habit of many money happy couples is that they schedule regular “Money Dates” to talk about their finances. Make it fun and try not to think of it as a chore. It’s a good idea to schedule it around the same time each month when you know you’ll be available. Some couples order their favorite meal or pour a special cocktail to celebrate the event. So what do you do at a “Money Date”? This is when you check-in with each other on the budget, review your bills and update each other on the progress you’re making towards certain financial goals, like paying off debt or saving for that next home improvement project. It typically makes sense that the partner with the indirect financial responsibilities creates the agenda for this meeting.  I also suggest bringing a calendar with you to start to outline the next 30 days of spending. Are there things on the calendar that will require you to focus your money on unique items this month? Focus on this being an open discussion about concerns you have, and also, don’t forget to celebrate your success along the way.  

4. Stick to a System that Works

What’s the best way to split household expenses? How do you manage your finances when one spouse earns much more than the other spouse? How do you manage saving vs. spending vs. paying off debt? The problem is that there is no one-size-fits-all solution for all couples. The best piece of advice I can give is that you have to go through the first 3 steps to decide amongst yourselves the best way to manage the family finances that will work for you. I have seen many couples have success in sharing a joint bank account for all of the income and all of the shared household expenses, including money for their shared savings goals. At the same time, each gets a certain amount into a personal bank account for individual spending. Some couples may think it’s fair to specify a small percentage of income, while others may agree that each having the same dollar amount to spend each month works for them. There’s no right or wrong way to do it as long as everyone is comfortable with the agreement. Having a small amount of money to use how you see fit can alleviate many petty fights about money.

5. Share Responsibility in Long-Term Financial Planning and Investing Strategies

While it’s smart to have one person in the relationship take charge of the day-to-day finances, it’s essential to make sure both partners have a say in the big picture financial plan. I’ve heard too many stories about individuals finding out after the fact that their partner made a big financial decision without consulting them that put their family on the wrong financial path. At that moment, it may feel like you’re doing your spouse a favor by tackling that daunting task without them, but know that a little openness and effort can go along way in building a happy and honest relationship. It’s also essential to share the task of investing your savings for the future. Suppose you both have different feelings about risk. It’s imperative that you can meet in the middle with a coordinated investment plan that allows both parties to feel confident in the financial decisions that are being made. 

Establishing guidelines around how you and your partner handle money means you’re less likely to put unnecessary stress on your relationship. Think about these habits that financially happy couples do and see how you can adopt a few of these strategies yourself. 

If you’re unsure how to get started, we’re here to help. We have facilitated many conversations with clients over the years about communicating more effectively about money in their household.

Brandy Branstetter, CFP®